It’s Okay to be Quiet
Friday, June 30, 2017
Have you ever been told that you’re too quiet or that perhaps you should consider speaking up more? Well, it has happened to me more times than I care to admit. Most times I take it in stride, but every now and then it bothers me. I have explained many times that I am a thinker and I prefer to process things. Believe me; those who know me well know there are times when I have a lot to say and I say it!
Actor Emma Watson (a.k.a. Hermione Granger from Harry Potter) once said, “If you’re anything other than an extrovert you’re made to think there’s something wrong with you.” That may sound a bit dramatic, but sometimes people do that or they make comments such as, “You’re so quiet; are you sure you’re okay?”
Recently I was reminded of Susan Cain’s book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.” I had heard about it years ago but never read it. Well, I’m reading it now and I invite you (introverts and extroverts) to read it too. You may learn a thing or two about yourself or others.
You may also want to check out Cain’s TED Talk, The Power of Introverts. In this TED Talk, Cain distinguishes the difference between shyness and introversion. She says shyness is about fear of social judgement, while introversion is more about how you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation. According to Cain, extroverts crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel most alive in a quieter, more low-key environment. She also says that our schools and workplaces are designed mostly for extroverts and their need for lots of stimulation - - think open floor plans where there is constant noise and everyone is in plain view because there are no or very low walls. Cain also noted that introverts are routinely passed over for leadership positions; however, research shows that extroverts and introverts are equally successful in leadership roles overall, and that introverts, in certain situations, actually make better managers.
Carl Jung, a psychologist who popularized the terms introvert and extrovert, said there is no such thing as a pure introvert or a pure extrovert. Some people fall in the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum, and we call these people ambiverts because they have qualities of both. Sounds like the best of both worlds to me!
As you round out your summer reading list, be sure to add Cain’s book. You won’t be disappointed. You may also want to check out her website at Quiet Revolution. The CLE is looking out for you too! We’ll offer Professional Development for the Introvert later this year.
The main thing to remember is that it’s okay to be quiet! As stated in The Quiet Revolution Manifesto, “In the long run, staying true to your temperament is the key to finding work you love and work that matters.”